Zen And Romance
The art of romance and the art of Zen are actually very similar. By romance we mean the feeling of love, happiness, joy and delight in just waking up in the morning. We mean being able to be excited about our day, our lives and the people we meet along the way. This is usually the way we feel when we are with or have met someone we particularly care for who cares for us that way as well. When we are with someone we care for and who cares for us there is a heightened sense of being beautiful, valuable and seeing the other that way as well. We feel we have found a person we can trust, share with, be open with and intimate. We no longer have to live in the straight jacket we have placed ourselves in. What a wonderful way to feel about life,oneself and another person. In Zen as we practice, we become to feel that way about everyone and about each of our days, no matter what is going on. Most feel that romance just comes out of the blue, there is no way to know when, or how to hold onto it. Some say it is a gift and a blessing, bestowed upon us when we are lucky, or in the right place at the right time. Some say romance comes only to the fortunate few. Some even refuse romance, because they feel the happiness it brings cannot ever last. They'd rather not get their hopes up and experience a let down later on. While romance is certainly a gift and a blessing, and we all want to live the enhanced sense of life it brings, there are actually many steps we can take to prepare the way for it. Each individual has a part in welcoming this state of being into their lives and a part in keeping it going. Romance is not just for the lucky few, but can come to all at any point in life, to anyone, at any moment. The real question we must ask ourselves is are we willing to let it in? Are we willing to give ourselves and another this most precious gift of all?As we engage in Zen practice we see that there are certain ways in which we keep romance from our doorstep, and other ways in which we invite it in. Here is an exercise to start with: More can be found in Living By Zen (Timeless Truths For Everyday Life) The One Beside You Now Look at a person who is close to you right now - anyone it happens to be. Notice the ways in which you push him away. Stop doing that for a moment. Become still. Stop thinking of what you want from the person and just become aware of what he is offering and what he is not. Allow the two of you to be together in whatever way you are. Just be with it all for a little while and let it be fine the way it is. Do the same thing tomorrow with someone else. We discount so many people who are in our worlds, while waiting for "the right one" to appear. As we take on Zen practice and principles, we soon discover that the romance we want, the heightened sense of beauty and happiness is right within ourselves. It comes alive when we see each person truly. Dr. Brenda Shoshanna, is a psychologist, relationship expert, author and speaker. This article is based upon her most recent book, Living By Zen, http://www.livingbyzen.com. Dr. Shoshanna offers talks and workshops and is also the author of Zen And The Art of Falling In Love, (Simon and Schuster), Why Men Leave, (Putnam) What He Can't Tell You and Needs To Say, (Putnam), and Zen Miracles (Finding Peace In An Insane World), (Wiley). You can reach her at topspeaker@yahoo.com. Her personal website is http://www.brendashoshanna.com
MORE RESOURCES:
|
How do you honor your relationship?San Francisco Chronicle (blog)A relationship needs attention and nurturing to thrive. If you didn't water your house plant, it would die. Think of your relationship in this way as well. ... |
Google News
|
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
All About Soul Mates
1. How do I know when I've met my Soul Mate?There will be an instantaneous familiarity, a recognition, and an innate understanding and connection from the beginning that cannot be described logically.
Taking the True Relationship Test
If you have ever read teen magazines you will be familiar with the myriad tests they offer their readers. You can find out everything from which type of jelly bean you are to which celebrity is your soul mate.
Whos Watching You? Men Arent The Only Stalkers
For decades, the label "stalker' has been tattooed as a gender-specific crime, committed by men. Things have changed drastically.
Relationship Advice - How to Get Out and Stay Out of Relationships Ruts
"The only difference between a rut and a grave are the dimensions."Q: My wife and I are both on our second marriage.
Apologizing When We Hurt Our Friends or Partners
In every relationship there will be occasional misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Sometimes we are the one who hurt another person we care about; sometimes we are the one who has been hurt.
Shattered Visions
Sometimes it takes a girlfriend in order to have a really good shopping trip. It takes having someone who knows you very well either urging you forward on a contemplated splurge--or holding you back before you plunge ahead on one she knows you'll live to regret.
Why You Should Be Happy You Caught Your Partner Cheating
The dictionary defines infidelity as "unfaithfulness to a sexual partner". Let's go over what is and isn't cheating:1.
Calling Forth a Soulmate
How do I draw a soulmate into my life? You don't. I've read plenty of books that tell you how to do it, but I don't believe for a minute that you can place your cosmic order and your perfect ideal twin soul is going to materialize just like that at your front door.
What Does It Really Mean When You Pass or Fail A Relationship Quiz?
Q. It seems that no matter what magazine I am reading there is always some new relationship quiz being published.
Get Lucky In Your Love Life
Whether you are single or married, we all need luck in relationship and romance. It could be for getting a lifetime soul mate or to strengthen you relationship with your current spouse.
How to Have an Affair - Beware!
People decide to have an affair for many reasons. They could have become disappointed with their marriage expectations which may have been too high to fulfil or they may simply want to carry on having an open relationship as they have in their past.
What to Do when Your Family Feels He is Not Good Enough for You
Parents and loved ones always seem to put a damper on our love life. When you feel that you have finally found the love of your life, the problem now becomes getting your family to accept your guy and see how charming he really is.
Fear of a Broken Heart
Dear Candace,I am in the process of getting divorced and have met a very wonderful man who touches my soul. I am scared of a relationship because of a fear of not being perfect, and my main fear is that of a broken heart.
Relationship Advice: Warning Signs of an Emotional Affair
"But we're just friends" are four of the most dangerous words for your marriage.But over and over in my office and on the phone I hear it: "We are just friends, there is nothing going on.
7 Myths About Good Guys
It is every woman's dream to meet a "Good Guy" who will sweep her off her feet and transform into her knight in shinning armor. It is quite interesting to talk to women and listen to their ideas of what a "Good Guy" is.
Holiday Fun for Singles
Are you dreading the holidays because you are single? For those who are alone, this can be a difficult season -- especially if you know what it is like to be in a relationship during this time of year. This can, however, be your best time of the year if you follow this plan:1.
Relationship Problems Begin With Poor Communication
Many relationship problems often begin with poor communication. Many couples often feel that their partner should know what they are thinking and do not communicate their thoughts and wants to them.
True Friendships - How to Get True Friends and Friendships
True Friendship - RecognitionHow can we find true friendships in this fast and selfish world? This world is not a permanent world and our life in this temporary world is very short like a thin string tied between two edges. In this time how can we find friends and friendships which are true and trustable.
How to Increase Romance with Humor
Ask any single adult what qualities he or she wants in a spouse or partner, and one of the first answers is always "a sense of humor." Yet relationships and most marriages easily lose the early excitement after living together for several years.
How To Tell If Someone You Meet In An Online Profile Or Advert Is Married/Partnered Or A Troll - 3
Liar, Liar! Pants On Fire!Today, you'll learn about 2 yellow-flag indications theperson on the other end of your online chat is possibly atroll (married, partnered or undesirable)..
|
